An Historical Reenactment:

A Response to the Republican Presidential Candidates' Debate.

In this historical re-enactment, the part of "Nick 5-7 years ago" will be played by Charlie Romanelli
.
The part of "The General Opinion of the American Populace" will be portrayed by stage veteran Swoosie Kurtz.



SCENE 1.

Curtains open. It is 5-7 years ago. Nick's apartment. The stage is bare, save a bong, a copy of "A Lover's Discourse," and some rare T. Rex on vinyl. "Nick," dressed in freshly laundered navy blue sweatpants and a plaid long-sleeved button-up, Polo and rendered in a color pattern subtly bolder than expected, sits upon a wooden stool, real "cool and casual." Sounds of popular songs, political speeches, TV sitcoms, and police sirens blare, simultaneously, in a cacophonous, disorienting, and familiar barrage of corporate media bullshit. "The General Opinion of the American Populace," dressed in a black unitard with a tinfoil-covered cardboard box on her head that creates the illusion that she is a "talking head" on a television news program, enters stage left. Silence.

TGOotAP: Is it just me or is John McCain the only one in Washington who makes any sense? He's the only guy who isn't playing politics and is just telling it like it is. I love him. Everybody loves him. I want to hang out with him so bad it hurts. It's a shame he isn't a front runner in the Presidential campaign, because he is exactly what Washington -- what this entire country -- needs right now. He was tortured in a Vietnamese P.O.W. camp for 6 years. He is the REAL. GOD. DAMNED. DEAL.

Nick: Hold. Up. If you were tortured in Vietnam for 6 years I'm gonna venture that I cannot understand you at all. I think you should be a candidate for maybe working on dealing with that(at your own pace), some serious relaxing, and just spending as much time as possible with your family. Your psyche is, as the least I can say, radically different than that of almost everyone else in the United States, and is probably extremely fragile and/or extremely volatile. I really don't think you should be trying to run a country.

TGOotAP: YOU WILL SHUT THE FUCK UP, NICK! YOU WILL SHUT UP AND NEVER SPEAK AGAIN! (in a robot voice) This message was sponsored by corporations.

Blackout



SCENE 2.Curtains open. Present day. Silence. Silence. Both actors enter stage right and stand tall before the audience.

TGOotAP: John McCain is so clearly clinically insane that I find it unnerving to watch him speak publicly.
Nick: I told you that guy was nuts.

Each slowly removes their wig and reveals a bald head.

Nick and TGOotAP: And we both have breast cancer.


THE END