#1, his lovely wife Ann Romney
Music: Oldies, Norah Jones, Garth Brooks
Movies: Almost all -- but no scary ones
I find that charming.
#2 Tagg Romney
Harvard Business School '98
Music: Love it all-country, rock, 80s, 70s, you name it; especially Billy Joel, Jack Johnson
#3 Josh Romney
Harvard Business School '05
General: Surfing, waterskiing, snowskiing, reading, travelling and playing with my three children
#4 Matt Romney
Harvard Business School '03
Look out!
Music: Cake, Ozomatli, Shins, Iz, White Stripes, Beck, Coldplay, Led Zeppelin, Luna, and Bob Marley.
#5 Ben Romney
Modest med student
#6 Craig Romney
Occupation: Music Producer
They're all married.
Romney is the only presidential candidate who has his family in his top 8. It not only shows me he's really family-oriented, but it continues his (so far really effective) campaign to make me feel like a huge faggot. Every time this guy talks I feel like he's throwing me the winning pass, and just letting me soak up the glory of being a real man for one fleeting second while he jumps on the back of an eagle and goes to a Habitat work site. Now I find out the dude had 5 OTHER DUDES that could out-dude me equally well -- INSIDE HIS BALLS.
If he were the fake president in an action movie I wouldn't believe it for a second. He's too much. Put him in a wheelchair or something. I can't stand it.
Can we really imagine an American first family that looks like this?:
It'll be tough.
In the way that running for President is running for Greatest Man in America, I don't know how this guy can be beat. O, wait. It's called light-skinned black, salt-n-pepper 'round the edges, and every hope I've ever had for the future in single eye-twinkle.
If Obama loses I vote he marries Beyonce (or MJB), and they run for King and Queen of the World.
3 comments:
i showed this to my coworker and we picked which romney we would like to plural marry. i picked ben (duh) and she picked josh. then we went waterskiing.
Josh is cute, but I feel like he might try to eat my brains while I was asleep.
It's all about Matt though, because nothing says soulful like a gayface, palpable dad issues, and ozomatli.
Talking about gayface and palpable dad issues really brings me back to several times a day for the last 6 years. LET'S (see if we can) GO BACK TO OUR pre-BA DAZE, M-A.
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