David Copperfield: Rapist? I weigh in

I just found out David Copperfield was accused of rape. Can you imagine getting raped by David Copperfield? I sure can. The articles about it say that 1) the FBI is in charge of the investigation and 2) all they can tell us right now is that they are searching his storage facilities for clues. I can't think of a better place for David Copperfield to store his rape clues. This all leads me to ask the question "WHAT IS GOING ON?"



Thankfully I can trust humanity to get a firm handle on this modern day Anansi ("Trickster character"). This is a clip of him dispelling any rumors of him being creepy and gross/making me redact the question"WHAT IS GOING ON?"/flying, that someone uploaded onto the internet under the title "David Copperfield - Levitation (...actually flying)"


And here are some of the comments








I would really like to press these people further to see if they know what Asia actually is. "I know wha...It's Asia...c'mon...it's where people use their minds to fly. Asia. It hasn't caught on in the West because people here totally don't even want to fly."





and then I like this one cause it's a complete failure of trying to play it cool in front of a flying guy




I think the debate people are having about whether or not David Copperfield is actually magic, and whether he is more or less magic than David Blaine, is one we should have started a long time ago. I told you the internet is the future; facilliating potent discussion between people ALL OVER THE WORLD.

Speaking of times and places, it's weird to think that there was a time and place where that video would have been a legitimate and effective presidential campaign speech. Now I'm imagining Barack Obama recreating it (exactly) and I'm realizing that time and place can be found within my heart.
Progress.

Sheesh.


Anyway: David Copperfield is a rapist, pass it on.