David Copperfield: Rapist? I weigh in

I just found out David Copperfield was accused of rape. Can you imagine getting raped by David Copperfield? I sure can. The articles about it say that 1) the FBI is in charge of the investigation and 2) all they can tell us right now is that they are searching his storage facilities for clues. I can't think of a better place for David Copperfield to store his rape clues. This all leads me to ask the question "WHAT IS GOING ON?"



Thankfully I can trust humanity to get a firm handle on this modern day Anansi ("Trickster character"). This is a clip of him dispelling any rumors of him being creepy and gross/making me redact the question"WHAT IS GOING ON?"/flying, that someone uploaded onto the internet under the title "David Copperfield - Levitation (...actually flying)"


And here are some of the comments








I would really like to press these people further to see if they know what Asia actually is. "I know wha...It's Asia...c'mon...it's where people use their minds to fly. Asia. It hasn't caught on in the West because people here totally don't even want to fly."





and then I like this one cause it's a complete failure of trying to play it cool in front of a flying guy




I think the debate people are having about whether or not David Copperfield is actually magic, and whether he is more or less magic than David Blaine, is one we should have started a long time ago. I told you the internet is the future; facilliating potent discussion between people ALL OVER THE WORLD.

Speaking of times and places, it's weird to think that there was a time and place where that video would have been a legitimate and effective presidential campaign speech. Now I'm imagining Barack Obama recreating it (exactly) and I'm realizing that time and place can be found within my heart.
Progress.

Sheesh.


Anyway: David Copperfield is a rapist, pass it on.

Radio Free Babyface

"If people could hear underground music, it would make them feel the problems in their lives and want to change things.” These true,true words were recently spoken by some bass player in this NYT article about pop music in China. Inversely, music that isn't underground makes you want things to stay exactly the way they are. I know because whenever I hear the lyrics "Ah, little man, ah, succeed quickly,” it quells all my revolutionary unrest.

After reading that Chinese radio consists only of "gentle love songs and uplifting ballads," here's how I imagine a Chinese radio playlist: 1. Boyz II Men; 2. Whitesnake; 3. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" ; 4. that bullfrog song from "The Big Chill"; 5. Babyface. AKA, my dream station. So I don't know what Chinese radio fans are complaining about.

“Nowadays singers can sing many songs, but in the end, they’re all singing the same song, the core of which is, ‘Have fun,’” Mr. Fu said. “Culture has become an empty vessel.”

ugggggggggh, are you STILL talking? Why don't you just go be in that Silver Jews video while I listen to my all-time favorite song, "Have Fun." As the radio DJ Zheng Yang puts it, "Life is smooth, and so music is more about soothing things. Anyone can criticize or blame. What we need right now is guidance.”
I say the same thing every day.

Last Night's Party

omfg you guys, the Millennial Crier book party for my debut novel, The Historicist's Wife, was off the fucking chain. Big thanks to Jean-Paul Crazy for DJing, and to our sponsors Carlo Rossi and weed. A few of you said we should post that home video that showed how Liz and I started this blog so here it is



And for those of you who couldn't make it, here's a vid of some of the highlights

A Tribute to Lesbians

The Chinese might be calling it the year of the pig, but anyone who can fully open their eyes would have to agree 2007 is all about lesbians. Everywhere you look they're out doin' their thing. Let's take a look at some of the lesbians defining the moment!

Yep, she's pure now.


!


Do it to it, grrrlz!



I'm getting closer to fine by the jpeg







No second class citizens here


lovin the Docs

KUDOS LADIES!

Surfin' the 'Net: The Wayback Machine

This website is genius. It lets you see what a webpage looked like at almost any point in time since the invention of the internet. And let me tell you, 1996-99 were great years for web design. Sailing through cyberspace ca.1996 was like navigating a sleek and seamless metropolis, with two-toned, enormously-pixelated icons at every corner.
Here's a good place to start:
www.whitehouse.gov of 1998
Well good morning to you too, internet white house, and what a fine morning it is! Your wedding invitation font reminds me that American democracy likes to keep things classy. And do my eyes deceive me or are those two images of flags...FLUTTERING IN THE CYBER-BREEZE?!?!
Remember how, in the days when the whitehouse's website looked the same as an 11-year-old cat lover's personal homepage, it seemed like that was just the fixed aesthetic of the internet? Who could have predicted the changes in store... [Answer: Almost Everybody]

From the people that brought you The Millennial Crier

The success of the promo for Quarterlife in my heart was due, in most part, to how it seemed like it was written by aliens. I wanted in on the fun. I figured the people that brought you Thirtysomething are probably forty or fiftsomethings now, so i decided to turn the tables a bit and wrote my own hard-hitting, in your face, unbearably real drama called Bein' Moms and Dads from the perspective of someone who knows: me.

Natasha: Bein' 55 is so hard. I feel so alone.
Ethan: What do we do all day?
Sascha: What do we do at night?
Natasha: Do you ever wonder what we talk about when we're hanging out alone?
Ethan: I know, right?
Sascha: Do we find eachother sexually attractive? Does it work like that?
Natasha: We all have osteoperosis and that's difficult
Ethan: Let's watch Broadcast News on VHS
Sascha: But ER is on
Natsha: I love William Hurt
Ethan: I miss the war or something
Sascha: I miss the incomparable writing of Taxi
Natasha: You put my mailing address and home telephone number all over your rolodex!!

--cue Al Jolson song--

slow motion passionate embrace

All of the characters are played by Sela Ward

THOUGHTS PLEASE

THIS

This is like holding a mirror up to a promo for a myspace-based TV drama from the creators of My So Called Life and Blood Diamond. Also Thirtysomething if you imdb it.

Who PvvN3z who?

Let's continue to blog persoblog. So I moved last month and yesterday I finally unpacked all the shit I've had in boxes since I was an undergrad. I found out a lot about myself because, FYI, we actually live in a this dystopic, one dimensional, consumer driven capatilist society WHICH BLIZZZOWS because it robs us of the beauty of our humanity, and relegates our selfhoods to a list of commodities. But, like this boy became a man, ownership has recently become pvvn3rship, and we now have the critical tools to tear away the veil of Maya which is TOTAL BULLSHIT if you want to know. What I'm trying to say is: let's take a look at some of the crap I'm embarrassed to own.
1.
Where would "favorite movies" on Friendster be without you, Donnie Darko? Certainly not continuing to dominate the web and 21st Century social interaction.
2.
You keep your "bling bling" and your Britney Spears, and have a good time at your frat parties and then your bullshit corporate job where all you do is colonialism corporations corporations president Bush Starbucks cargo pants. I'll be busy feeling pretty and weak...AND CRYING. WHAT?!!
3.
oOOooOoohhh yYeeEEaaHHhh!!11!!!!!!!! I actually still wear these everyday. Talk to Snoop Dogg about it if you wanna judge.

fave txt of the day

"URGENT FACEBOOK OVRRIDE: U KNO GAY TALESE?"

Angels of History

The most powerful part of last week's Gossip Girl was the ending, in which [spoiler alert!], as Blair and Dan playfully banter in the background about the collapse of socialism, Serena delivers a monologue revealing that she has been living with AIDS for five years, and then tells us we are all fabulous.

the Patriarchy is cracking me up over here

If I've said it once, I've said it hundreds of thousands of times: the hierarchy of funniest people goes
1) Middle-aged men (happy)
2) Middle-aged men (divorced)
3) Kind middle-aged lesbians with can-do attitudes
4) 11 year olds who act like they really have their shit together

So anyway, in my keeping up with media coverage of the epic battle between MySpace and Facebook (see: epic battle between fun parties with your cool friends and boring houses filled with everyone you went to high school with. Who's gonna win?) I came across this quote from straight-up Tom:

"He called me once and couldn't log in for some reason. I was trying to help him over the phone, saying, 'Type this. Type that. What do you see on your screen?' And he says, 'It says, 'Welcome John.' And I'm like, 'John? Why does it say John?' and he says [affecting his own version of the deep, slightly cranky voice], 'I don't use my real name on MySpace.'"

Guess who "He" is...

Guuuuessss...

It's
<

Rupert Murdoch couldn't get onto his MySpace so he called Tom, and then accidentily spilled the beans that he has a secret account and his myspace alias is "John."

!!!!!!!!!!!

LO...LO..OM...JOHN...L...LOL
I don't even know where to go from here

Old white men, you've done it again. My day is made. You had me from "Hello. Hello, hi, I founded Western civilization"

The Internet? Let's just get rush tickets to RENT

You can't keep Gen-X down

Here's another way to make a zine: fold a piece of paper into get a blog.

And then this reminded me of a video zine (Remember?) but it turns out it's from 2006.

This is what happens when you search "cool music" on Yahoo!. ZING! This reminded me 1) of watching "Reality Bites" with a girl who made me not talk 2) Getting a free AIDS test w/my lover (dreads over here) and 3) a lot of situations I've hated being in. This one starts with
college friend: my co-worker David is having a BBQ you should totally come. You'd really like him.
me: Oh fer sher. What's his deal?
cf: He's in a band and his friends are all like *cRaZy* artists
me: Oh cool
cf: It's, like, an alt-country band. They're pretty big.
me: great
cf: But it's like..He has an MFA and he writes poetry so ...
me: Wow. Great.
cf: And I'm gonna go ahead and let you know he's like 35+
me: I'm still excited about the poetry
cf: Yeah, he published a collection. It's called "Actual Air."
me: Beautiful. That's beautiful. "Actual Air." Shivers.
cf: Sometimes he does ironic Britney Spears covers..if HE GETS DRUNK ENOUGH!!!!
me: I really think the world needs that right now
both: LET'S GET READY TO NOT REALLY HAVE THAT MUCH FUUUU-UUUUNNN

dreams come true

I mean actual dreams, not hopes.


I know you're sick of me non-stop blowing your mom mind with the probe of my questions, but am I the only one who feels like the virtual world is trying as hard as it can to look exactly like my dream imagination? This 10 minutes of Newt Gingrich might as well be 10 minutes of shitting on Michel Gondry [watch as the shit turns into giant hands and the ten minutes are actually made of hand crafted paper now the hands are TINY]. It's so dreamy and confusing, and then it turns out to be almost a real thing. It also highlights how Washington DC also looks a lot like my imagination. Sweetness and light, friends. Its time is coming once more, all around us, forever.

5...6...7...8...RELATIONSHIPS!

If you've noticed the stench of death all over the blog lately, you've probably surmised that Liz and my's relationship is on the rocks. Between school and school, not having families, not having a job and not ever having had a job, life for these co-bloggers can get pretty stressful, and we all know the toll that takes on blogs. So, Liz and I did what all couples do to reignite the spark and bellow it into a hot flame of clever cultural critique and "lovemaking": COUPLES DANCE WORKSHOPS
We prepared a piece with our choreographer, Michael, that says in the universal language of movement (in space): FUCK YOU, BLOG DEATH. OUR LOVE OF THE WORLD LIVES ETERNAL AND OUR UNIQUE PERSEPCTIVE HAS NO WHERE TO GO BUT 'FURTHER CULTIVIATED TOWN,' POPULATION: DEVASTATINGLY ACCURATE, OR AT LEAST VERY HELPFUL IN THE CLARITY OF ITS RENDERING

it is this:


WE BLOG OOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!