Boarding Tips

The other day I had to fly to Minnesota and the airport was pretty crowded. It's a good thing I know how to handle that situation. What I do is I make sure to stand up really close to the gate about 20 minutes before they start boarding. That way I have a prime spot, so even though my seat is way in the front and I don’t have Elite status, I’ll be in line the fucking SECOND they call my row. That strategy also lets me block out all the other passengers who would probably try to budge in front of me. Sometimes people whose rows have already been called assume I’m in line, so they wait behind me, but that’s their fucking problem. The stakes are too high for me to risk losing my awesome spot near the gate. Unfortunately the flight got cancelled, but if it hadn’t, I would have boarded that shit like a master.