More Alternative Fuels

If I could sum up Minnesota in a single Youtube video, it would be people peddling a communal bicycle, responsibly drinking beers, cheering each other on, while wearing socks with sandals.



“Mildly Cheering Each Other On, Wearing Socks with Sandals” will be the title of my memoirs about growing up. Not to be confused with my memoirs about becoming the first woman astronaut.

Don’t get me wrong, next time I’m home I plan to ride this multi-passenger beer bicycle to every single event I attend. So if I make any plans with you, count on me showing up eight hours late and drunk. (Ma Nishtana, as my Jewish friends would say. Hi, Jewish friends!!)

Still, it will be tough to beat my last MN mass transit adventure, the light rail. Even if the light rail didn’t live up to Nick’s lofty expectations ("gliding on pure beams of light”), I would ride that legacy of Jesse Ventura any day.


And that, my friends, is what she said.

The Magic R. Kelly Bus

Everyone, I’m blogging from a bus. A bus! I feel like a rich person. If there’s one thing I know about rich people, it’s that they love the bus. Almost as much as counting their money.

I’d recommend this Bolt Bus, it’s pretty clean and so far nobody has tried to sell me crack. Or tried to balance open tomato soup cans on the top of my seat just to see if they will fall, for FOUR STRAIGHT HOURS.

On the down side, it lacks that special Greyhound scent of injustice. Also, I'm pretty confident my identity is in the process of being stolen.

I don't know about the name "Bolt," though. It makes me think of doing things without paying for them, or running from your fears. Well you can keep on running, bus, but there's one thing you can never outrun: your heart. Your tiny, mechanical bus heart.

That was a quote from "The Winter's Tale."

Here are some other things I did from the internet bus:
1) read up on the R. Kelly trial
2) listened to some R. Kelly
3) unsuccessfully tried to stream an R. Kelly video
4) went on a journey through the inside of the human body
5) almost threw up
6) Purchased the island of France.

Anyway thank god for modern comforts. How did people even live before?


It's time for the MC’s Travel Tip of the Week:
Don't ride the bus.

Politics

Here's some food for thought for our readers in the media studies department. I hope you're hungry.
"Tim Russert Sculpture"

"After hearing of Tim's death I felt compelled to somehow show my respect. This sculpture is a work in progress of a great man, son, father, journalist and American. My heart goes out to the friends and family members of Tim Russert."

In other political news, watch Eleanor Roosevelt tell a joke about murdering Japs.


Eleanor Roosevelt looks great, eh? And a voice like an insane, dying bird, eh? It's a shame the camera guy only got her balls in that shot, though.

(Her face looks like balls.)

GET SILLY! II

DADuuuuuh! II

My dad made a youtube about what rap music looks like to him:


Just a lot of bright colors and loud noises and young people wasting time.

This also seems like the kind of song/band a teenager on a sitcom would defy their parents over, in order to see them live in concert at the Central City Auditorium or Killer Lou's All Night Dance Club.
This reminds me, here are the concerts I'm excited about this summer:

The Murder Doggs, Freaky Freddie, Fresh Murder, The Crusty Maggots, Grungy and the Losers, Unprotected Sex Rave, Dr. Diss, Gangsta Teeth, Drugzapalooza, and Radiohead.
But where am I going to come up with $25?!?!?!!

ANYWAY
GET SILLY, EVERYBODY!!!












and Tippy Toe, while you're at it. It's hot out.


I'm afraid to go to a party in the south.

this is just a popularity contest

from CNN

"Kerstin has said she wants to see the ocean and go to a concert by Robbie Williams, the British singer, said Dr. Berhold Kepplinger, director of the clinic where the family are now living.

He described how excited Kerstin was to hear Robbie Williams songs in her hospital room, and that she was moving around to the music so much that doctors even had to quiet her down.

It was then, Kepplinger said, that doctors became confident Kerstin can eventually become fully healthy and develop normally."

and Don't miss!:


(I google image searched the house of horrors to see what it was like:

That looks like a *terrible* place to be molested by your dad for 20 years. So scary.)

Also this:

and this:

Burj Dubai! Burj everyone!

the computer-generated fantasy known as the "worlds tallest building" in a place called "Dubai"
-->

Has apparently become a reality:
-->
Thanks to the riches of local sheiks/ the blood of millions.

To save time, I'll post this now:

In other news Dubai has completely exploded. Everyone in the world died.


FYI: in the time I saved posting that now I made these great "Seashell Critters"

with my foster daughter

Aren't those great? Love em.

Top 10 websites

10. garysinise.com



9. HurricaneKatrina.com

X 5

everybody get out your bookmarks

aaaa
geeeeh