Political Science

I think the technology most political scientists are overlooking when trying to figure out how to scientifically parse the upcoming presidential election is face morphers. Not here, friends. At the Millennial Crier we're not afraid to use face morphers to ask the tough questions.
Questions like "what if Barack Obama had a white person face?" Even when the answer is:

"exactly like George Bush."

And we're not afraid to ask "what would Michelle Obama look like if she had a white person face?" Even if the answer is

"a lot like Rosie O'Donnell."

These are courtesy of "Face of the Future," where we can use technology to learn about what faces will look like in the future, the future where black people turn white.

What other questions aren't we afriad to answer with face morphers? For starters, "What if the McCains were black?"

even if the answer is "I feel racist now."

"What if John McCain was Chinese?"

even if the answer is "I've learned more about the future than I ever want to know, even though I know I already knew it. Somewhere. Somewhere..."

What if we go far enough into the future that space time collapses back on itself, we're born at death, and our first lady is tiny baby Cindy McCain?

making our president:


And "What if Leelee Sobieski and Hitler had a baby?"

And "what if Lil Wayne and Stevie Nicks had a beautiful angel?"*

*Williamsburg and globalized Williamsburg cells: you're welcome for the boner. And the garbage clothes. Which I made for you.