hot new trend: READING!

"It's alive! It's alive." So read the first words of the classic novel Frankenstein. You could say reading is a lot like a classic novel like Frankenstein these days, because it is alive. Forget saxophones and throw out each of your leather jackets, it's all about reading! Thanks to recent hit books like Harry Potter and The Secret, books have become "cool" once again; for everyone from white women to white children to Asian children adopted by white families.

"Reading isn't just important," says a new study by the NEA, "it's cool and fun. It's made out of gold and is like sex; sex where you cum really hard and for a really long time and that makes your dick bigger."

"I like to read because it lets me go to a whole new world and see what life is like for other people," said Kelsey Valesques-Chardin, 7, of Anytown, USA,"only I don't just see it...I make up what it looks like."

Her teacher agrees, saying, "In a world full of images of what other peoples' lives are like, it's important to shut your eyes tight and just make up what it must be like. This simulates the world experience of the 19th century, or the "Golden Age of Reading," or "Empathy Central."

These days it seems reading is so hot I could go on and on, but...I'VE JUST GOTTA FINISH THIS BOOK!