Spoiler Alert

I finally saw the first episode of season six of the Sopranos, but it was kind of spoiled for me by the New Yorker. Here’s a tip for Nancy Franklin: if you reference a show’s “devastating, mind-blowing ending,” you might as well just tell us that Tony’s going to get shot. Here’s another tip for Nancy Franklin: cut back on your parentheses usage.
While I’m handing out tips, I wish professors would stop assigning novels over multiple weeks and then talking about the endings in the first lecture, and jokily being like “not to spoil it for you guys, but...” Because that’s exactly what you’re doing.
The human impulse for plot is crazy/beautiful, and the more I read about it the less I understand.* The only people who have come to terms with it are the people who are addicted to reading spoiler websites. According to Wikipedia these people are called “spoiler sluts,” but that sounds defensive: deep down, we are all spoiler sluts.

*Please join MC's campaign to make "crazy/beautiful" happen as an aesthetic category. We've already got Ch. 1 of the treatise written ("Concerning the crazy/beautiful in nature, and its effect on man's emotions"). You know when something semantic opens up a whole new way of seeing? Just sayin'.