In Defense of Poesie

I wrote this poem about my favorite lady on TV. And it you don’t think it’s good, that’s probably because you don’t know enough about poetry. First of all, you have to read poems slowly, because poetry requires the gift of loving attention. You might even say poetry gives us that gift. Secondly, the golden rule of poetry is that you can never have too much alliteration. Finally, remember that poetry is not just about the meaning of the words but their sounds. In that way it’s a lot like music; even rap music!! Poetry is also just as fun to get drunk with your friends and go out and dance to as rap music. That’s why so many people care about it and it will never become irrelevant.

It was less than a year ago ere I met you,
Yet it seems like a lifetime,
And a millisecond,
Combined.
Did I just blow your mind?
Your hair is sometimes curly, sometimes straight,
But it is always bright yellow as the sun,
Which orbits the earth like my soul your face.
You’re sweet, sassy, saucy, you’re pert, fresh and bossy,
When there’s a case you just can’t say no.
That’s partly why you and Logan break up every show.
I didn’t like him at first, but now I feel kind of bad for the bro.
I also like you and your dad’s rapport,
Some say it’s creepy, but they’re just sore
Because their own dads probably abandoned them.
Beneath your tough veneer and your stubborn pride
I can tell you have a soft feminine side
Because you like to bake,
Like when you baked cookies for that guy Josh.
Did he murder his dad? Did you help him escape?
I don’t know
Because I missed last Tuesday’s show.
So if you saw it please tell me what happened.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Suck on that, poetry. And in case you were wondering, no, I didn’t use a rhyming dictionary even ONCE.