MC MERCH

We finally got around to printing the t-shirts!





Let everyone in your life know where you stand in the culture war, and the smaller subtler battle within that war, with our stylish new Millennial Crier Ts. With one of these on your back, you'll have all the kids on the street asking "did that person go to high school or college with someone who has a blog?" You can save your breath, because the answer will be clear.

e39.99
(euros only)

Australia; Acting Tips

Hey everybody, sorry it's been so long. I've been really busy with my internship in the corporate law sector, and I've also been working hard on my networking skills, as well as spending a lot of time personal training. Combine that with constantly looking things up on my iPod Touch, meeting people at clubs and buying them drinks out of my online poker winnings, and watching the ol' sports whenever I have the time, and you've pretty much described my summer in a nutshell!!

Actually, I just got back from a long vacation in Australia. If you’re wondering what it’s like, allow me to paint a picture:

1. Full of sharks.
2. Full of Christians.
3. Rich cultural heritage.

By the way, I’ll be leaving the Millennial Crier tomorrow to start my job as Chief of the Australian Bureau of Tourism. It’s been a good run.

Toward the end of our trip, the Pope arrived in Sydney for World Youth Day, a huge gathering of young Christians from all over the world, and all the TV news stories were about the Pope just doing things. Here’s a verbatim transcript of Australian TV that week:

Anchorwoman: During his visit to the Sydney Zoo today, the Pope revealed that he has a soft spot for koala bears. But he’s not so sure about those snakes!!!!
Anchorman: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Anchorwoman: We don’t have a Bill of Rights.

In conclusion, Australia is a land of contrast. One thing they export is corn or, as the Indians call it, “maize.”

Another big surprise was that on my flight back, Dennis Quaid, the reigning king of in-flight entertainment, was only in two movies. He was dethroned by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, of all people, who was in every movie I watched (The Savages, Charlie Wilson’s War, Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead). That guy is alright, but I wish he would try a little harder at acting. Just hone your craft a little, is all I'm saying. Maybe you should try getting into the mindset of the character you're playing, and staying there -- even after the camera has stopped rolling. Remember, you won't win a People’s Choice Award for being “good enough.”

Speaking of which, I just went to see Click! A Crowd-Curated Exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum. Here’s what people love most, it turns out:

1. loud visual ironies
2. the Red Hook sugar refinery
3. things being reflected in pools

People also like gloomy visions of urban decay, still. I thought that was a 90s thing! People are so 90s.



That's just a little gift from me to you, friends. A lil' gift from me to you. I was going to get you an actual gift, but I spent the last of my Australian Euros at the club, buying shots for all the friends I made while backpacking at the youth hostel. Really, really chill people. We had some intense conversations. Study abroad. BLOGGER OUT

Book Recommendations

People continue to write books about how the internet is making everyone stupider than them. This is a new trend in books that looks like it's going to be productive and steer the world back on track. These authors really did their research!

So, when it's too hot to keep cool this summer, pick up one of these informative titles:




Both these books reminded me that best the thing I've ever read on the internet is the myth of King Thamus, who was wise enough to teach the world that they shouldn't use the new invention of reading because it would make them stupid.
Which further reminds me of two other great books you should bring to the beach this summer.

More Allegories, PLEASE

Did you know that, if you think about it, the new Batman movie is actually the perfect Batman movie for 2008? Because the Joker is a terrorist and Harvey Dent is Obama. Batman is traditional notions of America because he teaches us that black-and-white two-dimensional superheroes don't really exist anymore, and that sometimes the best we can hope for is the illusion of justice. The Batmobile is Darfur, and Michael Cain is the Internet. Heath Ledger is Industry and Maggie Gyllenhaal is melty pig face Hilary Clinton. Morgan Freeman is either God or Nelson Mandela with moles. The rest of the cast is the cast of How I Met Your Mother. I don't know what the caged bird is.

Anyway, a lot of people think that this is just some stupid blow-em-up action movie based on a cartoon like what babies watch, but it's actually almost as highly intelligent as reading while listening to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. You can tell because the plot sounds like what your friends say when they say what Noam Chomsky says.

Interestingly, every preview before the Batman movie -- save James Bond which needs to get in my face already -- is also a self-conscious allegory of the contemporary condition. As predicted by this very blog years ago, the world is getting so much smarter. And, thankfully, it's rubbing our face in it, like all the best smart things.

@ngels

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Bad case of the Summertime Blues (kidney damage)

Newsflash: Summer's here and blogs are gay. [NYT]
We haven't been posting much as we've both finished our highly impressive educations and we have BIG BIG things happening in our lives!!
For instance: Liz has a sweet internship with a leading trans-fat corporation that she got through her parents and sex, and I'm working for this great non-profit, raising awareness about cat scratch fever in the Sudan. I hope to use a lot of the skills I learned last summer working for a non-profit that raised awareness about yellow fever in artist and graduate student communities. Knowledge is the best "immunization." As they say. Leading doctors.

But in all seriousness, Liz is vacationing in Australia, and I recently got injured at the gym, started urinating blood, and couldn't move my torso for several days. Paging Doctor Gross, am I right? I am. I am. Doctor Gross is a specialist in helping people deal with blogging the phrase "I got injured at the gym." He's just the best.

Just checking in. Sorry about my taking a turn for the aBsUrd, but a little redonkulousness now and then is exactly what the doctor ordered. OooOOooOo DOCTOR!