Oscar Fever

Check out this snapshot of Norm Coleman that a citizen journalist captured on her cell phone:





Some would question our right to intrude on politicians’ private lives and to place them under media scrutiny 24/7, but if you ask me he should not have been wearing that shirt in the first place.

Do you ever stop to think about the way political humor has changed since Photoshop? I still don’t have Photoshop, so I almost never think about that. The bad thing is that I have to use Paint when I want to manipulate images, but the good thing is that I still understand the world's representation to be in fundamental harmony with the world's truth.

I’m thinking about asking for Photoshop for my birthday, though, as soon as I'm ready to turn wise beyond my years. Just like Benjamin Button. (A funny joke is to end every sentence, “just like Benjamin Button.” An example sentence: “That old man looks like a tiny baby!”)





Is it me or does this movie look so stupid? It should probably be nominated for the Oscar for Stupidest Looking Movie.

And this movie should be nominated for the Oscar for Greatest Title:




I think it's about a hotel for dogs.



Imagine how much this poster would have shaken your foundations, making you question whether cinema can ever truly be “radical” when forced at every level to compromise with the Hollywood system, if only I had Photoshop.

John Updike Finally

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The MC got an office!

Here is our new mailing address:




Bob Dylan wrote a song about it.

Glad to see the New York Times is finally doing its job again. I guess they listened to that inaugural address on responsibility. What are your plans for becoming a more responsible American citizen? I already switched all my light bulbs so I think I'm set.

Now I have to run -- off to pick up my new Blue Ray Prius (just a little gift to myself in anticipation of refinancing our office). See you "tomorrow"!*

* metaphorical tomorrow that means hope / world where all our problems have been solved. I probably won't actually see you, unless you want to go cruisin'.

Gentlemen's Collection

Love,
Obamicon

In with the new, out with our gold

Hey guys. Sorry it’s been a while since we’ve blogged. I was busy studying for a big exam, and meanwhile Nick, who was going to keep up the MC during my hiatus, has been preoccupied trying to salvage his trust fund, after he found out that his family put their bottled water industry fortune into the hands of Bernie Madoff (a scandal that hit Jewish-faced people especially hard).

 

Tough times for everyone. Especially for bloggers who get most of their material from fetishizing the obscenely wealthy (not pointing any fingers -- except at you, Arts & Letters Daily. If that even is your name.) But the MC is back on its feet, and I think we’ve both emerged from this year a little stronger. Nick even wrote a cover song about it:

So in the spirit of the new year, the MC has made a few resolutions:

1) Go print! Now seems like the moment.

2) Spread a hot new slang word, or revive an old slang word. Last year’s campaign to bring back “crazy/beautiful” was such a success that it will be appearing in a New York Times “trends” piece any day now. (If any of you have a mom or dad that writes those pieces, give them a tip. I’m sure somebody’s mom or dad writes those.)

3) Use our status as citizen journalists to hold our more established peer publications to a higher standard of journalism, shine a light on corruption and increase the transparency of the political process, and incite the American reading public to participate more actively in this crazy/beautiful experiment we call democracy.

4) Join an all-women’s gym so we can feel comfortable with our bodies and workout the way we want to workout. (Exclusively groin thrusts and sidebody toning.)

2009 is the MC’s year! I can feel it.

Tenderoni Alert

I am but a small boutique owner on the Grand Ave of the meme economy, recently divorced. But I'm pleased to bring this "hand-painted tribal-themed linen tunic for piano teachers" to the market:



Joe Mande made it, and I am thankful.

If we break all the mirrors we won't have to look at our own ugliness

Here's a video that is what happens when New York Times articles about millennials are made flesh:



New York Times' writer's sexual nightmare: "It's called "Uhh Yeah Dude" and vlogs privacy changing the workforce Mark Zuckerberg politically engaged Vice Magazine Second Life and their attire? Let's just say it's "business casual." Real casual."

Seth Romatelli and Jonathan Larroquette, creators of Uhh Yeah Dude: We're on it. [sound of them making it flesh].

Jonathan Larroquette's parents:

"I think we should name him John Larroquette"
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This blog post reminds me of when they see the pizza part of the corporatized documentary on Reality Bites, and makes me feel Gen X.

Which reminds me: here's a scene from my upcoming novel about clashes on the frontlines of the quiet GenX-Millennial cultural civil war:

The Gen Xer and the Millennials are in a Rock-n-Roll McDonald's in Dubai. First the Gen Xer orders and says like "McChicken Classic Cripsy Club" all condescending and droll and it turns his girlfriend on so they make passionate, brutally violent love until they realize they're just bodies.
Cut to the Millennials making chicken McNugget mashups in solitary glass cages with scrolling twitter feeds projected on their faces.

It's written from the point of view of an asshole.